Old Dog, New Tricks

In education, a buzzword and area of focus is teaching students about having a growth mindset.  This means that a person starts a new activity knowing they will make mistakes along the way that will help them learn and improve.  The opposing inclination is known as a fixed mindset: when someone is too scared of failure to even begin or quits the moment something becomes challenging.  With a career in education, these concepts are played out daily in my classroom.

But for me personally, I had always thought of myself as someone with a growth mindset; my motto in life is Neale Donald Walsh’s quote (plastered around my classroom): “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  But when I became serious about learning how to ski so I could join my boyfriend in the backcountry to cover more terrain than snowshoeing could do, I had some serious introspection ahead of me.

At first, lessons at the resort went well, and shortly I was skiing greens and blues easily alongside the employee.  I was feeling confident; falling was not as bad as my fear had made it out to be.  Things were going really, really well, and then Boyfriend suggested we go put my backcountry setup to use.   I’m no stranger to outdoor activities: I sea kayak, summited Mt. Whitney from the parking lot and back in one day, attempted to summit Rainier, have hiked all over Kodiak Island without being mauled by a Kodiak brown bear, hiked 100 miles of Alaska’s Lost Coast, trail run, backpacked through Montana wilderness areas several times, rafted Grand Canyon, and completed many more adventures on and off the beaten path.  I did not know why the idea of now actually going backcountry skiing terrified me, but the fear of the unknown was almost debilitating. Months previous, I had purchased a backcountry skiing set up from a friend, just for this purpose! I was in a quandary.

For safety, I had the avalanche set up, and though we practiced with the avy gear, I was very dependent on others around me to “read” the snow.  This fear made me think back to my students, “Is this how they feel when they start a project they feel is too big or too hard?” I also remembered the line I serve students when they start to fizzle from a project, “Don’t quit on me, because I’m not quitting on you.”  At this moment, I felt strong compassion for my struggling students; I was clearly having a fixed mindset to backcountry skiing.

As amped as I was to go skiing and refusing to be left behind, the intense trepidation and fear of the unknown coursing through me was overwhelming to my senses.  I had not felt this kind of hesitation about anything in a long, long time.  I could not rectify this feeling within me; I wanted to learn, yet I was equally terrified of the unknown.  However, there was A) no way I was going to be left behind, and B) no way I was going to admit to Boyfriend what a wimp I was feeling like inside, so I loaded up my gear and we headed out.  

Those first backcountry lessons were rough days with plenty of falls; many big, wide turns (my specialty); and even a bit of attitude from Yours Truly.  Boyfriend even asked me, “Are you sure you want to learn how to ski? You're acting like I’m dragging you into this.”  This was always a great reality check for me as I readjusted my inner attitude so I could behave like the Lindsey he knows and not the fixed mindset Lindsey that left him, and me, frustrated.

It’s been two ski seasons since those first lessons and I have logged more hours skiing backcountry than riding the lifts.  The bar on defining a “good day” of skiing has slowly been raised.  At first, if there were no tears, it was a good day!  Then, if there were no meltdowns, it was a good day!  And towards the end of this most recent ski season, I remember declaring, “This is actually kinda fun!”  For a beginner, every ski day is taxing because there is so much learning involved, so many decisions to make that seasoned skiers take for granted they are even making.  

The famous "Lindsey Pizza" caught on camera.

As I wrapped up the last ski of the season in early June and replaced skis with hiking boots and fishing poles, Boyfriend tells me I’m the fastest skier doing “pizza” on the mountain. I’ll try for a growth mindset next year and more “french fry.”

Skiing with these two really is the best!